Oh, world! Sorrow and pain you induce!
A crab louse suffers from human abuse.
It was like a flagship of all populations,
But fell as a victim of our epilation.
I am purple with rage. I am ready for fights.
How dare you people break crab lice’s rights?
You wouldn’t eat out overgrown and sweaty
And think it’s worth threatening crab lice’s safety?
Get used to neglecting and hurting small pets?
It’s high time you mind whom you’ve got in your pants!
I’d like to inform the RSPCA.
Self-interested Brazilians must bear the blame.
By waxing and sugaring glamorous bitches
They’re mistreating the innocent creatures.
Striving to boost their growing economy,
They’ve violated crab lice’s autonomy.
Bloody offenders as guilty as sin,
They ought to be punished for not being green.
I’d like to appeal to all European nations.
Let’s show Brazilians our strong condemnation.
Evil oppressors, unjust and unfair,
They try to dictate that we must go bare.
By resolute letting the bush go long
We’ll show Brazilians where they’re wrong.
All European people must rise side by side.
Our long curly pubes will hang out with pride!
We’ll strive for democracy, justice and peace.
We’ll hope for the crab’s population increase.
We’ll take poor beings from grief to new heights.
Long live a crab louse and its legal rights!