There’s a long-standing misapprehension.
There’s a flagrant injustice committed.
Due to groundless women’s convention
Only guys who are big are admitted.

That’s a false apprehension of men’s size.
I’ll correct this gargantuan error.
Kindly let me convince you that small guys
Are your best choice forever and ever.

A small guy is most sympathetic.
When you’re sad, he’s always about.
He’s the one who is not apathetic.
He especially likes eating out.

You can give him instructions and orders,
He will meet them with no refusal.
He will wash, iron and clean your quarters…
He’s so desperate to prove himself useful.

A small guy is rich for surprises.
He’s more than just watching shop-windows.
He’s not frightened at all of big prices.
He will buy you a pile of big dildos.

He will calm you down when you’re weeping.
He will make you feel safe and protect you.
He won’t bother you while you’re sleeping.
His protuberance’s quite undetected.

A small guy has drive to develop.
He has burning ambition to grow.
He’s not like those stupid big fellows.
He’s got something more vital to show.

His big car drives him to his big palace.
His big salary constantly goes up.
Well, he doesn’t possess a big phallus,
But his girlfriend is always a D cup.

A small guy will launch a career
And undoubtedly go the whole hog.
He’ll become a well-known pioneer.
He’ll become a political top dog.

A small guy will never be forgotten.
He’ll become the most vigorous person.
With his finger on this big red button
He’ll make all of us beg him for mercy.