F9 (Fast & Furious 9) Film Review

F9 (Fast & Furious 9) Movie Review | Anastasia Rybachuk

So let’s talk about the Fast and Furious 9 movie.

Who has told the screenwriters that experiments with family issues are a good idea for F9? Brothers, sisters, parents, children, husbands, wives… I wish it were a Bollywood movie so that all the characters joined hands and started to sing and dance in the end.

Alas, no songs and dances, only poorly written redundantly sentimental dialogues left for us.

I definitely need to know what bike model the character of Michelle Rodriguez used. Unbreakable. 100% pit-resistant. Fit for forests and off-road. Protects its owner from bullets. No helmet needed.

Do you remember those two guys who flew into space by car? So mindless of them. I mean they should have used that terrific bike instead!

I also really really need to know who has fed a poor boy when he was sitting in that basement during the entire movie?

And what is even more important – who has cleaned the glass cell after Charlize Theron’s character was sitting there 24/7?

To be serious, that was probably the most boring two hours in my life. I am not talking here about breaking the laws of nature and logic, a poor and predictable plot, weak dialogues, no. The movie can have all these flaws and still be gripping. But this is not the case with F9. It’s just boring and weak.

By the way, I wonder how the script looks like. I mean was there any script actually? Or it was created by stunt masters and CGI specialists on the spot?

Anyway, my recommendation is – if you really want to see this movie… Do not deprive yourself of pleasure – poke fun at every second of it with your best friends. Because poking fun at F9 will be the only pleasure you will get from F9.

We Russians watched that masterpiece in cinemas earlier than you. Does it mean that there are more fans of F9 in Russia than for example in the United States? Just wondering.